THE RULES

Don’t drink coffee, tea, or booze
Drugs are something we don’t use!
Go to church each single week,
And never, ever, evil-speak.
Quiet laughter is the way.
Ten percent is what you pay.
 Most of all, though . . . don’t be gay.

Accept all callings: they’re inspired
Wearing garments is required.
Prayer in morning, and at night,
Daily journal entries: write.
Read your scriptures every day!
Heed the words the prophets say.
 Most of all, though . . . don’t be gay.

Earrings: wear a single pair.
Confess to bishop if you err.
Women wear long, modest skirts
Men must wear white, buttoned shirts
If a prophet speaks, obey.
Never watch a film risqué!
 Most of all, though . . . don’t be gay.

Kids are baptized right at eight,
Teens must be sixteen to date.
Seminary class at dawn.
If you sin, the spirit’s gone!
The evil world leads men astray,
Marry young, and don’t delay.
 Most of all, though . . . don’t be gay.

Every week, attend the temple.
Gospel truth is very simple!
If God asked you, would you die?
He commands, would you comply?
Have a question? First, you pray!
Sin is black and white, not gray.
 Most of all, though . . . don’t be gay.

Now those rules are left behind,
My daily life is less defined.
I choose what’s good and right for me,
Let others choose accordingly.
The church will say I’m “led astray”
It’s time I stopped the church’s sway.
 “Love is love” . . . the better way!